Blogcast 

24.12.2023

Final blog 11: Holiday season - Family matters ? + Recap - This is me. It’s nice to meet you.

I started writing this biography series around August 2023, and I had calculated that somewhere around the holidays the last blog would drop. So here it is.

Many people, including myself, spent the holidays alone. Sometimes voluntarily because it’s just more peaceful and economical going into the new year, and sometimes involuntarily because of difficult family dynamics.

The holidays are a difficult time for many, as family is a sensitive spot for different reasons. 
Everyone deals with it in their own little way. I used to host outcast dinners where all the loners that became families would hang out together. Who knows? I’ll host them more in the future.

But that brings me to the following thought: What’s the importance of family?

To my knowledge, your family represents your place in this world. In history, your family name was important, and morals and values had to be followed accordingly.
Not doing so would cause the disownment of your family, to protect and honor the ancestry. The family was your protection and support system back in the day, the actuality of that changed, but the mindset didn’t. 

I already concluded in this blog that orphaned children (children without a family to go home to) are a vulnerable peer group. I’ve seen it within myself and while working in foster care. 
I believe that has something to do with the unspoken rule that a child without parents or a home must have done something to dishonor their families.
Knowing that, I always tried to heal my family’s issues and stick around them.
Unfortunately, I had to learn the hard way that that was to my own detriment.

Read my blog about the subject here.

Then the next interesting thought is, “Can you disown yourself because the family does dishonorable things towards you”? Are there levels to “it’s still your family”?

There’s always a part of you that subscribes to certain beliefs that were engraved into you early in life. In my case, it’s the religion I was raised in, Christian Pentecostal.
And I was always told how the Bible speaks of how children should honor their parents and also the other way around, but that was mostly left out.
I’ve been asking myself if parents should give their children something to honor.  
Or is it by default? 

Culturally, the parents are always right, even if they are wrong. They also believe there is a justification for everything they do, good or bad. So whenever the cultured parents decide to close the door on you, they hope something bad happens outside so that we learn the hard way why everything they say is right. 

But, I don’t really think things work that way.

I think that God gives these kids extra angels to protect them because God doesn’t want them to get hurt on the streets because their parents want to teach them a strange lesson about obeying.  I sometimes feel like God looks at some of our parents and is like “Uhm, nah, that’s exactly what I didn’t mean with that Bible verse, Archangel Gabriel, you’re up”!

What will happen is that the children will feel resentment toward their parents.
Because children don’t receive certain actions as tokens of love. 
Children will start to feel like they are dishonorable and act accordingly. They avoid discussions about their situation because, on the inside, they still believe that it is somehow their fault. 
On the other hand, there is still hope that the situation will eventually change. 
But they keep being met with the same ol cycle after any failed attempt to make things right.

In my personal experience and from what I’ve seen around me. Children who go through broken family dynamics could end up either cutting every single family member off and keeping it formal, or they could find themselves in a constant cycle of trying to find healing by loving them unconditionally and being met with feelings that aren’t mutual. 
This ends up stunting their general growth in life, as it remains a scar that keeps being reopened.

And it’s important to think about these things when you are trying to better yourself as their child and want to pursue your goals and dreams. As everyone can’t handle the same rejection they gave you. You might be met with a dedication to (spiritual) war.  Rooted in ego and a lack of self-reflection,

So to answer my own question based on the cultural and religious values I mentioned earlier, yes, I think you can disown yourself from your family because of dishonorable actions.
I think it’s a two-way street, children honor their parents for honoring their parental duties.  
You can’t blame a (minor) child for what their parents do, but you can blame the parents for what their (minor) children do. Parents have a duty to their children first.

We can place this under “sins of the father” in the Bible, “karma” in East Asian religion, “generational curses” in Afro culture and “hurt people hurt people” in the West.
It all translates to children facing the consequences of the decisions of their parents or ancestors because of a lack of self-reflection.

Our parents, and maybe their parents, might never have found the closure they thought they needed in order to make different decisions. But like I said on my birthday blog, sometimes all you require is acceptance that there isn’t any.

That is when insight overpowers the ego, that is growth.

And that brings us to the end of this blog of my biography series, in which in blog 1 I referred to asking God, “Why am I doing this”? Most of my disagreement came from an egoistic point of view. 

I am curious as to why I devote countless hours of my day to writing and editing this free public blog cast that shares my personal stories to inform, educate, and hopefully help heal, particularly those who label me as crazy, victim shame me, laugh at my pain, leave me at my lowest to join the ops, and will attempt to use this against me or worse, steal my content. And God said, “That’s the whole point; you did your work; they will do theirs”.

LOL, God is a real G.

Anyway, I think it’s safe to agree that the Victoria Mabelle hate train stops in 2023. 
“If it’s all love, show me love then”?!
This upcoming season, I’m looking forward to coming outside the house again and stepping back into the lights to create projects with those that have meant me well and always will. 

Finally, I can lurk back in the stories of all the handsome men that silently lurk in mine but never like or comment on anything. I must be scary to them.  Or maybe they know mom won’t accept me, so they keep a safe distance. Hey there. :D 

A big shout-out to one of my spiritual teachers, the OG nun, and everybody else out there who is responsible with their power of knowledge. 

If I have to believe the stats on my website, this series was low-key popular, even though the engagement on social media would suggest otherwise.
I don’t think 608 total visits on 10 blogs posted weekly is that bad. That’s approx. 60,8 readers per post. I had zero expectations as a newbie without any support.

I’ll write new series whenever it suits me, but you can always come back here to read my stories as a measuring tool for insights whenever it suits you.

Or contact me for a personal session via C’estMabelleVictoire consulting here.

This is me, C’est Mabelle Victoire, which is French for “this is my beautiful victory,” which is also my birth name. 
It’s nice to meet you, and thanks for reading my blog cast series.
I’m genuinely wishing everybody the best in 2024.

Vic

© C’estMabelleVictoire